Wild Problems: A Guide to the Decisions That Define Us

He says that you should indeed make that list of costs and benefits, but not for the purpose of assessing them rationally. Rather, he argues, make the list in order to figure out what you’re “really after.” And by that he means where your heart lies.

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But I don’t think they’re really saying that we should ignore reason. They’re saying that we care about something else besides what we experience or feel. They’re telling us there’s more than our future experiences at stake when we face a wild problem.

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Human beings care about more than the day-to-day pleasures and pains of daily existence. We want purpose. We want meaning. We want to belong to something larger than ourselves. We aspire. We want to matter. These overarching sensations—the texture of our lives above and beyond what we call happiness or everyday pleasure—define who we are and how we see ourselves. These longings are at the heart of a life well lived.

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To flourish as a human being is to live life fully. That means more than simply accumulating pleasures and avoiding pain. Flourishing includes living and acting with integrity, virtue, purpose, meaning, dignity, and autonomy—aspects of life that are not just difficult to quantify but that you might put front and center, regardless of the cost.

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On narrow utilitarian grounds, this was a no-brainer. Only a fool would take the job. A number of friends and family told me to turn it down. But when it came to who I am and who I want to be, it was a no-brainer in the other direction.

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So the narrow utilitarian part of the decision wasn’t irrelevant. But the flourishing part of the decision was the decisive one. I took the job because I felt like it was something I was meant to do, a calling. To turn down the opportunity would have felt like a betrayal of the deepest parts of me.

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Where we choose to live is about more than which place has better weather, better job opportunities, better options for day trips, better local food, and so on. Where we live is about who we are and not just what we experience.

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